I am at a difficult place right now. This is one of those times in life where you're standing frozen in time at a crossroads, petrified and hesitant to do anything but sit down right in the middle...and wait until something influences you one way or the other. So I'm stuck, waiting. Well, inside I'm waiting. I'm waiting for things to come to a balance. I'm waiting to be at a neutral place where it's okay to take a step in a chosen direction because I know that it feels right. Outside I'm taking forced steps into a direction I know I should go. I feel like I'm pushing against a strong wind that keeps trying to push me back. The problem with my chosen direction is, normally these things are welcomed with excitement. But right now they don't feel right. I don't think I'm ready. But I'm doing them anyway. I've wasted enough time on this and things have got to change, whether I'm ready or not. I have to do this.
Or else I fear I'll be stuck here waiting for entirely too long. I'm not exactly sure how to handle this. I've done it before, I can do it again. It won't be easy but in the end I'll be just fine. This won't kill me, but I can tell you right now that when it's all over with, it's going to make me a hell of a lot stronger. So with that, I'm going to sit here and think. I'm going to be doing a lot of thinking. | 
